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Home > Art Disc > How to Write a Resignation Letter

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Am I a Genius Yet? (2001)

How to Write a Resignation Leter
(an excerpt)

From the ArtDisc release, Am I a Genius Yet?


...Finally, I offer one last example of writing that all-too-important Resignation Letter. Like many college students, I spend some time living in a run-down house. It was one of those dilapidated houses that would easily be condemned if there weren’t so many college kids desperate to move out of Mommy and Daddy’s house.

The paint was peeling. The ceiling was caving in. The floors were creaking. The kitchen was conquered by an army of insects. The living room couch was from 1972, and probably wasn’t cleaned since then. Nothing unusual.

So when it came time for me to leave, I decided it was more important to honestly voice my opinions than quietly wait for the damage deposit. I figured that I wasn’t going to get the money after writing this, and neither did my housemates, but they cheered me on:

  • August 31, 1998
  • Dear Sirs,
  • The keys are here on the table, alongside the “checklist” you left by the door. Everything, as I’m sure you can see, is perfectly cleaned and in its place.
  • In fact, I’d be bold enough to say Room 206 is in better shape than when I moved in six months ago. Sure, the repairs I was promised – dresser drawer, table knobs, blinders and the like – were never done, but who am I to complain? The cockroaches roaming the hallways on every floor were always happy, to say nothing of the basement and front porch. I guess the insect kingdom is exempt from Gopher State’s “no pets” clause. Again, I have no reason to complain; my room was fine.
  • I appreciate your job in trying to “sell” this place to desperate college students. It’s tough to convince someone to pay out money when the kitchen roof’s caving in and the paint is chipping and the numbers by the front floor are literally falling off the wall. Of course, the rental license really didn’t expire five years ago; I’m sure that’s just your sense of humor.
  • Best wishes,
  • Daniel

Three weeks after I moved, I got a letter in the mail. It was the damage deposit.

Track Listing

The Artist Statement
About the Paintings
Tales From the B-Side
Daytona USA
How to Write a Resignation Letter

1998 Works
Model Portraits
Curious George
Watercolors on Canvas